Someone said a good blog is one that is written about something that we are passionate about, Since I have been married, lately the main thing I feel that strongly about is my husband, yes, I know its cheesy, but it is true. But am I alienating people because not EVERYONE feels as passionate about Chad as I do?? That being said, I would like to think that I am passionate about art, or at least I used to be.
Lately (for the past year and a half) I have felt a huge artist block, if that is what its called. Although I have had great happiness and change in my personal life, I have felt artistically un-inspired. I guess making photography a business has sucked all the life away from me and my ability to take photos that mean something to me.
In a recent conversation with a friend, I admitted that I thought I chose the wrong path for my life, because I don't feel passionate about photography. I don't LOVE picking up a camera lately, I don't like shooting weddings, or portraits, or I guess people in general. I am not sure why it is but I think it has to do with a lack of self confidence on my part, and also finding it hard to relate to people in a commercial photography type way.
I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone and shoot more people, and have recently photographed a couple babies. I like the way the picture turned out... but i find myself drawn to pictures of places or things rather than people. I'm wondering, is there something fundamentally wrong with me? Or is it that I feel more connection of emotion with the places people inhabit or things left behind.
A lot of my work I have a hard time categorizing, because I feel so fiercely personal about the photography I shoot for myself. Recurring themes in my work deal with memory and the process of recording it. But when people look back at me and my work will they wonder if I lived alone? Ive spent almost 2 weeks alone, Chad has been away on business and I work from home, so it is rare that I HAVE to be in contact with people.
I think that what this week and for the most part, and in moving away from all my family and friends has taught me is, I NEED people, and I could never live my life alone. Although at times I find myself feeling alone among a room full of people. I guess I just can't let the world within myself keep me from living my life, and I hope that soon it will allow me to come to a place where I feel passionate about art and about my work and feel excited to create something, even if it is just for me.
I have shot ONE of these photographs in the last few months, the rest come from a place when I felt passionate about photography, and felt like I did have something to say, and felt a love for art. This year, I will try to recapture that, and to get over this artist block.
11 comments:
these are so beautiful em! as are your words. i'm really glad you took the time (and emotional effort) to write about something a bit more personal.
although i'm not a photographer, i've seen Ben struggle with these same kinds of feelings. he knows already that professional photography (the kind involving getting paid to shoot people) generally isn't something he would enjoy; he'd rather be out shooting in the middle of the wilderness alone.
so i think it's totally normal to not feel excited or inspired now that you're trying to make a living from it.
anywho, you're AWESOME! and very cute. and i want you to know that.
and i think you're mom and dad are both extremely pleased with you and grateful for the happiness you've found through cultivating your many talents (and finding Chad).
<3
Em, your talent shines through in every picture you take. Every time I look at the ones you took on our trip to CA I think - DANG, she's good. Hopefully the passion returns for you. It's so important and I've yet to feel that way about something I have a talent for.
We are all just so different creatively. I look at your photographs and also think DANG, she's good...I could never take that. Where I tend to feel my photos are missing something without "someone" in them you fill your's with the substance of no one being there at all. I think that I'm trying to find my passion as well...which I believe will be animals, but not all people share that with me. Another photographer told me that I probably wont ever be happy with my photos until I find where the passion is and master it...only then I can move on to another area. So no more of this jack of all trades master of none. I just hope I can get around to the mastering part soon.
You dont' have to photography people to be a photographer, a lot of us hate weddings too! One of our teachers told us to just start walking when we have creative blocks. Just walk in different direction that you have before, don't even take your camera with you, think about what you would shoot if you had it. After a few days of that, you'll get sick of imagining to take pictures and will actually want to! Look forward to new inspiring works, once it starts to flow!
I feel exactly the same as you. I have put my camera down. I think my problem is that when photography became "work" it wasn't fun or inspiring anymore. It felt like an obligation. I have come to the conclusion that only candid photography/photo journalism is for me. The rest has to go. :) So I totally understand what your feeling. Your amazing at capturing things that others may not notice and you will be inspired again...I promise. :)
Emily, you should tell me next time chad is gone for so long. I will fly out to you. I am always looking for an excuse to go have some girl time.
I have a bit of Artist Block too, but I think it is because I am too unmotivated and tired to be able to concentrate on my creativity. I am sure it happens to everyone, especially during life changes.
thanks for all kinds words of encouragement and ideas! It really helps me! I love you guys!
thank you for sharing with us. it is hard but so beautiful!
love you!
Em--I only wish I were an artist!!! You capture life--and things I never even saw--It's amazing!!! I love your style! You Rock! Is Chad Loving Europe? Does he get to call? We love you Em--thanks for the post.
em, you're a great photographer... don't worry about going thru a low point as far as creativity. it happens to everyone.
i also totally understand your feelings about having to do stuff for work vs personal expression. as you know, since i do graphic design this is something i deal with regularly and can be very frustrating.. whether it's being art directed by someone who doesn't know what they're doing or being forced to do particular designs and make changes for clients that you totally feel are not good for the project.. or whatever else, it totally blunts my creativity... so i have to split the personal from the professional to keep myself from going crazy.
i don't think you should feel somehow anti-social that you prefer to take photos without people in them. if you were a a painter, no one would criticize if you were only into into painting landscapes and never painted a photo with a person in it. just take photos of what you love to take photos of when and where at your own pace and that is where your passion and creativity will flow from!
i love you! xoxox
Em- I think you are amazing and I can't even tell you how much we love the photos you gave us for Christmas! They are incredible! I guess that it's natural to have a "block" every once in a while, so cut yourself some slack! :) I hope Chad gets back soon! It stinks to be alone! Love ya!
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